One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
