Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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