we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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