Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
