did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
