why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Pooping to opera.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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