no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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