oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
