I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
