i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
