There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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