she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
