Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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