Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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