i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize