And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP