my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.