worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil