As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
