Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
