Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
