I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
