I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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