my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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