If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
