I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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