Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
