Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
