I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
