Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
