And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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