You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dont even know how to be here
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
