you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
