I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
