Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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