I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
