i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
