I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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