he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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