I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
