her vagine was all disorganized.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
