My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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