You just made me feel so damn special
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
