he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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