I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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