check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
