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• (916): View more from California

  ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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• (561): View more from Florida

  hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?

  (407): View more from Florida

  i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery

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• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish costco sold astroglide.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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• (714): View more from California

  I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You told your family you're bi over the phone?!

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.

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