my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.