I'm an idiot
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.