I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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