Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night