Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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