Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
