I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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