Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
