Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
