My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
