I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
