It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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