It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
