it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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