Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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