My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
