chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
