Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
