Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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