belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
