The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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