I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
