I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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