it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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