It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
