Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
