in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah