check it out our google latitudes are spooning
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
