Quick, to the slutcave!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
