He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
